Prepare Him Room

'Tis the season....

I love this time of year. There is so much celebration; good food, gifts, parties, breaks from school, new beginnings. Those are really nice things. However, during this season there is so much brokenness as well. There are people who forget what Christmas is all about and some that don't even know what Christmas even represents.

In our society we make Christmas all about ourselves. We make wish lists full of things we do not need. We violently shop for Christmas presents and ask for so much from others. We somehow manage to forget we already have the best present we could ever desire. Jesus Christ- "the reason for the season." God came to the earth in the form of flesh and lived a blameless, perfect life free of sin. Then He died in our hands for we condemned Him. He did all of this because He loves us and He claims us. From the beginning, when He arrived on the earth earth no one made room for Him. The inn had no room, he was born in a manger. I do not want to push God out, I want to make room for Him. I pray my heavenly Father would rid me of all that is unnecessary and fill me with His love and guidance. I pray that I could be a gift or a blessing to others through God's work in my life.

The real reason this holiday season gives me joy?
    Because I have many blessings in my life through Christ. Like my brother, who is currently out of the country, told me this past week- "Don't get me anything. I just want to be home. That is the best thing I could receive."
   Because I have the perfect gift always- salvation through my Lord. And this is when we celebrate his birth. "Let everyone prepare him room." Father, let us prepare you room.


"While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:6-7

Happy 20th

Dear Jon,

  Today you're twenty. You were just short a few weeks of making it to 18 and then a year and a half later, I made it to 18. It's weird to think I'm older than you here on earth but I try not to focus on that because we aren't from the earth, are we Jonny? You always taught me that. Today you turned twenty in the clouds and you're in the midst of a glorious celebration. Among those in attendance are your earthly father, who I miss as well, and our loving and ever good Heavenly father.

  Today I am remembering you. There is no possible way to share every memory but these are the ones that stick out to me today:

• When you lived eight streets down and I would bike over to pick my brother up from your house. One time you and Tim were shaking up soda cans and bottles and shooting them at the dog and cat. You guys were always up to no good.

• The trips we made back and forth from the DFW area and good old "B-Town" after your family moved. The first time when you came back was for the lock-in. We played murder in the dark and when you drew the ace of spades you killed us all. I remember you stuck me to hide in the darkest room and you came back in the room and said "I'm still really good at this game- I only have two more people to go!" You little sneak...Later on that night my brother got his guitar out and he made up his famous or infamous song "I'm So Tired." We have that moment on video, which is really a blessing.

• We went to six flags to see Hawk Nelson and TFK. Then we stayed at your church in the movie room and you and the other guys were fighting over using Liz's princess pillow.

• I saw you again for your dad's funeral.

• We saw each other when you came down to stay with Tim and I. I remember you could not believe Belton had a Jack and the Box-- that part of Lake road was new to you. My dad loaded up you, Tim and I into his little truck and we went and had Jack in the Box at midnight. Then a group of us went to Medieval Times in Dallas. We were rooting for the blue knight. The section next to us had a spear thrown at one of their tables accidentally and we were so amused at that.

• Glen Lake camp. It was your favorite place on earth and we went to the pilgrimage sessions together for three years. I remember eating meals at the same counselor's table with you. Your sarcasm was always a treat.

• We went on the best mission trip together- Kansas City, Missouri. (KC WHAT?! YOU KNOW!... sorry I had to.) I remember learning a lot from you on that trip about being a servant of God. When we were doing Christ candle one evening you seemed angry and I had never legitimately seen you angry before. You were always choosing love Jon. You said your low of the day and I will never forget what you said. You were upset at two girls on your team because they sat in the corner and talked all day instead of working and you said something along the lines of, "It upsets me to see people who understand God's word sitting idly serving themselves and not our God." We also had a lot of fun on that trip. You and Cooper singing the "Boom-Chuck" song.  You guys would say it was my turn to rap a verse even though you knew I was not paying attention. Cooper would be ready to not give me another chance but you always said, "Alright Addie... Again." I would of course mess up and then y'all would laugh... and ten seconds later we'd all hear "boom chuck, boom chuck, boom chuck." I will never ever forget the "Go to Sonic" song. Oh my goodness. You guys in the back of the bus were yelling Go to Sonic as loud as you possibly could and Jackie in front of my was waving his arms as fast as he could trying to make double tambourine noises. In the end, our necessary juvenile song did not work but we managed to find a way to get to Sonic after all. 

• There are sad times too, the times when you were sick. Today is not the time for those; that will be for another blog post maybe.

  Truthfully you are in my thoughts everyday. I miss your smile, your laugh, your maturity, your active faith. I just miss you. There was always laughter and joy when you were around. I know I was always laughing harder than I ever thought possible when we were all together. I let myself forget this after you passed for too long. I was sad and lonely. I am focusing on choosing joy now because joy is a part of your legacy and I want everyone to know your legacy. You were our light Jonny. You were our Jonnylocks. You aren't with us anymore, but you are home. You fought the good fight and finished the race- you kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) And one day, we will be home with you, where, as you said, "the water is so blue."

Love you friend.

Your Story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYc-rx3dznY

Potter and the Clay

(Originally written on 11-26-11)


I have not fully recognized myself lately. I'm going to say it's because I'm getting back to being myself.  I can't promise I'll be exactly the same because I won't but I promise I'm trying to be happy. I am happy. I'm choosing joy. I physically and mentally cannot be sad anymore and I'm sorry for how I was because being so lonely drives a person to become a total stranger. If I have to live any more days of repetitive loneliness I will always be empty.

I cannot forget past events, however I can use my experiences for growth. Or rather I can reduce myself down to clay and let the Potter mold me to His liking. I want to be reformed in the hands of my Jesus. I want God to make me new and make me how I need to be to serve Him. I want God to fill up all that is empty within me and restore my soul.

"Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."
-Isaiah 64:8

I'm Made Anew

I'm looking forward to this month a lot. There are some new people in my life and they probably won't read this and they might not even know it, but they have put some life back in me. While they are not the entire reason for my new overwhelming sense of joy they definitely helped. These past two weeks I've heard my laugh and sadly I almost didn't recognize it. I laughed, TRULY laughed this really obnoxious cackle that carries- yeah that's my laugh and I love it. Seriously, I do. I even laughed so hard that I had tears running falling from my eyes and the first thing I thought was, "What are these?" I realized the last emotion I consistently felt was grief. However I had felt it so long eventually I just didn't really feel or acknowledge anything.

I'm thankful for a heavenly Father who held on to me tightly and who has pulled me back into his arms and forgives me. Forgives me for being a servant to grief and serving myself. Forgives me for straying and making it about me. I would not be so happy in this moment if it were not for my Jesus. I serve a God who is always walking beside me and guiding me to His pleasing and perfect will. 

Father you have made me made anew by pouring blessing after blessing into my life. You throw out all that is of the world in me and you replace it with your word and your love. Truly, I am thankful. Thank you for reminding me of my laugh and for granting me people to share it with. Help me to continue to seek your joy. 

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18