I was accepted into a phenomenal nursing program back in my
hometown because God decided that my time at the school where I took my
prerequisite courses was over. Or at least that’s what I would have told you up
until last week. Only now am I realizing what God is teaching me about TIME.
This life is not mine.
I do not deserve the life I have been given. God is gracious and
merciful beyond all of our wildest dreams. The unconditional love our Savior
has for us is powerful. This past year, I was able to witness first hand what
living in community looks like. Man, I was drinking from the spring of the Lord
nonstop y’all. I was so convicted in my community of the life I was living; how
selfish I was with my time, how I met my needs before others, how undisciplined
I was, etc. etc. (I’ll stop the pity party here.) But the community I was in
strived to live a life worthy of Christ and the gospel. Men and women came
alongside me and boldly moved towards Christ and towards his people. I was
thriving among all circumstances. Why then, when I received my acceptance into
a nursing program away from community, was I initially so excited to leave?
Because I knew it was from the Lord and he had something planned for me.
I made it through six weeks of summer. Six weeks of a public
speaking course, volunteering at the food pantry, and the nursing home. Look God, you have made me better with my
time. I’m feeding the hungry and taking care of your widows. I knew you wanted
me to come back home so I could do better things with my time. HA! After
all I had learned about God this past year, I STILL put him in a box. I found
out last week a bigger piece of why I actually would be returning to small town
USA for nursing school.
The second thing I have learned this year is that the Lord
TRULY and DEEPLY cares about the desires of his children. (Good and bad
desires. Otherwise, sanctification wouldn’t be necessary-however we can save
that topic for another blog.) If it weren’t true then I would have never been
accepted to nursing school. That is definitely a door only God could have
opened. God didn’t just give me one passion though. Being a nurse isn’t the
only thing God created me for. The Lord has giving me a passion for college
students and the desire to water churches that are in a spiritual desert. After
living in a healthy church community, coming back to my home church is
drastically different in many ways. And right as I decided to try a new church,
I heard the voice of God. “Addie, if you leave
and do nothing, where will my truth come from?” Now, I am not saying
that I am the only one with the capability of bring the Holy Spirit to my
church. Actually, I am saying I don’t have that capability at all. But I love
the Lord and if I truly want to be a vessel for Him I have to realize that my
life is not my time at all. But, thankfully, divine intervention has occurred.
As of August 1st, I will be the Director of Young Adult Ministry at
my home church. This church is full of wonderful people who love God and his
people… but it is also a church that is underdoing a period of change. God has
given me a passion for his Holy Spirit and all I can do now is thank Him for
having a plan for me—a plan that invites me to serve Him and His people, when I
am so unworthy to do so.
Hineni. (Hebrew for: Here I Am Lord, Send Me.)
