I had such a nice break. I loved being able to relax all day everyday and do only the things I love. I became very comfortable in my routines. When it was time for me to come back to school, I procrastinated the move as long as I could. When I arrived back into my dorm room, I was far from ecstatic about being back at school. I thought it was because I was just sad to leave my friends and family at home and return to school. I was wrong. It was because I was anxious. I'm taking sixteen hours this semester. I know people have attempted and succeeded at more hours, but I believe personally, I am tackling a new challenge. I was also anxious about certain friendships that I felt had disbanded last semester and I was not sure what to do about these relationships. I was being ripped away from my comfort and being thrown into a fast paced environment I was reluctant to return to.
I began a new devotional two nights before classes began. I broke down. I told God how I was feeling. I confessed some of my secrets to God because I realized they weren't secrets. I became transparent and weak. God already knew how I felt and what the battles I had been fighting. However, openly confessing and talking to God is part of the relationship we are meant to have with our Creator. The anxiety bubble around my nerves began to melt when I read John 14:26. "The Holy Spirit will teach you all things." I am walking blindly in faith this semester. I know I am not alone. My God is with me wherever I go. If I walk with Him, great things will be accomplished. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us," Ephesians 3:20.
God does not call us to be comfortable. And when we are comfortable, our spiritual life is stale. "The Lord called to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." I am called to be where I am. I will listen to God. I will trust God. Apart from Him I am nothing. "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5 Amen.
